PANIC: It All Starts Here

PANIC: It All Starts Here

My thoughts are rushing inside my head; I want them to slow so that I can breathe. My breath comes in wheezing and I feel like I will collapse. The room was spinning and I sat on the floor, trying to make everything slow. To something my brain and body can cope with, I feel so sick while my heart was pounding like a jackhammer. My eyes are wild and when I sit down, I am rocking, rocking and rocking. I am hurt, I am bleeding. I want to hold someone’s hand as I must not die alone on the dark highway. I need to call someone; Call the police, Call the hospitals. I am hurt. I want to call an ambulance but the phone is too far, it's too far, it's too far. I don't know who to call, what is their number. An invisible hands clasp over my mouth; an equally ghostly needle of anxiety pierces my heart, exploding it in seconds. I feel my ribs packed as if bound by ropes, straining to inflate my lungs. My head is a carousel of fears spinning out of control, each one pushing my mind into darkness. I want to run; I need to freeze. The sounds that were near feel far away, like I'm no longer in the body that lies immobilize. I'm on the floor in a ball- the foetal position. Where am I, where is he, where’re the hands, what's my name, who to call, what's the number, where’s my phone, where’s the steep stairs, aren’t they too far, aren’t they too far. The room is spinning and there is blackness, I guess he’s gone, I guess he’s gone. He’s gone, he went, he took my breath and he left leaving back the dark night and its creepiness.